Love vs Friendship friendship is higher form of Love

God loves everyone but he does not share secrets and is intimate with everyone. So is friendship greater than love? Is friendship more intimate? I am to love my neighbor but not share my secrets and be intimate with him because he may be evil. So friendship is actually more than love?

To understand the relationship between love and friendship in the Catholic context, it's important to examine the different dimensions of each and how they relate to one another. While God's love extends to all, friendship involves a deeper, more intimate connection that isn't universally shared 4 5.

Understanding Love in the Christian Context

Love, particularly agape or charity, is a foundational virtue in Christianity. It is understood as the selfless giving of oneself for the good of others, mirroring God's love for humanity 4 5.

• Universal Love: God's love is universal, extending to every person without exception 4 5. As Pope John Paul II stated, Christ teaches a love that is universal, for all persons are neighbors to one another, regardless of origin, race, culture, or religion 4.
• Love of Neighbor: Jesus emphasizes the importance of loving one's neighbor as oneself 1 7. This love is not limited to those who are close to us but extends to all whom we encounter, including those in need 1 9. The parable of the Good Samaritan illustrates this, showing that our neighbor is anyone who needs our help and compassion 1 45 7 9.
• Love of Enemies: Christian love even extends to enemies 6 8. This is a challenging aspect of Christian love, calling for a love that seeks the good even of those who oppose or harm us 6.

Understanding Friendship in the Christian Context

Friendship, in contrast to universal love, involves a more selective and intimate relationship 18.

• Selective Intimacy: Friendship involves a deeper level of sharing, trust, and mutual affection that cannot be extended to everyone 18. Sirach advises, "Let those who are friendly with you be many, but let your advisers be one in a thousand" 11.
• Mutual Sharing: Friends share their lives, experiences, and even secrets with one another 18. This mutual sharing builds a bond of trust and intimacy that is unique to friendship 18.
• Discretion and Discernment: While friendship involves openness, it also requires discretion and discernment. Not everyone is suited to be a close friend, and it is important to choose friends wisely 11 12. Sirach warns against those who are friends only when it suits them or who may turn into enemies 11.

Comparing Love and Friendship

Here’s a comparison of love and friendship:

• Scope: Love, in the Christian sense, is universal and extends to all people 4 5. Friendship is selective, involving a close bond with a few chosen individuals 18.
• Intimacy: Love involves a general compassion and goodwill towards others 4 5. Friendship involves a deeper level of intimacy, sharing, and mutual trust 18.
• Requirements: Love requires us to treat everyone with respect, compassion, and kindness 45. Friendship requires a mutual commitment, shared values, and a willingness to be vulnerable with one another 18.

Is Friendship Greater Than Love?

In the Catholic perspective, it is not accurate to say that friendship is "greater" than love, but rather that they operate on different levels and serve different purposes. Love, in the form of charity, is the foundation of Christian life, guiding us to see Christ in every person and to treat everyone with dignity and respect 4 5 10. Friendship, on the other hand, is a particular expression of love that involves a deeper, more personal connection with certain individuals 18.

Intimacy and Discernment

You mention that you are to love your neighbor but not share your secrets and be intimate with him because he may be evil. This is a valid point. Christian love does not require us to be naive or imprudent 11 12. We are called to love everyone, but we are also called to be wise in our relationships 11 12.

• Prudence: Prudence is a virtue that helps us to discern the best course of action in a given situation 11 12. In the context of relationships, prudence means being cautious about whom we trust and to what extent we open ourselves to others 11 12.
• Discernment: Discernment involves seeking God's guidance in making important decisions 11 12. When it comes to choosing friends, we should pray for discernment, asking God to help us see the true character of those around us 11 12.
• Protection: It is perfectly acceptable to protect yourself from those who may be harmful or untrustworthy 11 12. This does not mean that you do not love them, but it does mean that you are not called to be vulnerable with them 11 12.

Friendship with Christ

Ultimately, the model for all Christian relationships is our relationship with Christ 15 16 17 19 20. Jesus calls us his friends, but this friendship is based on our willingness to follow his commands and to share in his mission 15 16 17 19 20. As Jesus says, "You are my friends if you do what I command you" 20. This friendship with Christ is the source of our strength and the foundation of all our other relationships 15 16 17 19 20.

Conclusion

Love and friendship are distinct but interconnected aspects of Christian life. Love, as charity, is universal and guides us to treat everyone with compassion and respect 4 5 10. Friendship is a particular expression of love that involves a deeper, more intimate connection with certain individuals 18. While we are called to love everyone, we are also called to be prudent and discerning in our relationships, protecting ourselves from those who may be harmful or untrustworthy 11 12. The ultimate model for all our relationships is our friendship with Christ, which is based on love, obedience, and a shared mission 15 16 17 19 20.

[1] 13 October 1989, Eucharistic celebration in Tuntungan, Indonesia 3

[2] 13 October 1989: Eucharistic celebration in Tuntungan, Indonesia - Homily 3

[3] The Holy Bible Luke 10

[4] Apostolic Journey to Paris: 22 August 1997, Beatification of Frédéric Ozanam, Paris 1

[5] General Audience of 27 April 2016: 16. Go and do likewise (cf Lk 10, 25-37) 

[6] Instruction on Christian freedom and liberation – Libertatis conscientia 55

[7] General Audience of 20 October 1999 2

[8] Christus vivit 151

[9] The Holy Bible Sirach 6

[10] The Holy Bible Sirach 37

[11] Dilexit nos (24 October 2024) - Encyclical 167

[12] Christus vivit 153

[13] Meeting with the young people of Zimbabwe at the Glamis Stadium of Harare (September 11, 1988) - Speech 

[14] To Scottish Bishops Conference in Edinburgh (June 1, 1982) - Speech 4

[15] General Audience of 5 July 2006: John, son of Zebedee 

[16] Letter to Priests 1997 5

Lectio Divina: read, reflect, respond, rejoice!

My Lectio Divina: James 4:1-4

What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.

{The cause of fighting, is me wanting my way. I desire things to be a certain way. If it goes against what I think is right and just I am upset and want to change it. 

I desire and therefore murder, covet, fight, and quarrel to manipulate the circumstances to what I think they should be. 

I do not have peace in the circumstances because I do not ask to see from God’s perspective. I do not receive wisdom about the circumstances because I ask for the circumstances to change instead of letting God renew my mind to see His way and trust His plan that even evil can be made for good. I ask for the circumstances to change so I can feel righteous and pride in knowing right and wrong instead of being on God’s side wanting his way that is too high for me to comprehend.

It is adultery to want my way over God’s way. He knows best how all things are working for good. I only see dimly from a human worldly perspective. God sees from the heavenly eternal perspective. Wanting the worldly ways is enmity with God. It is better to want God’s way even though painful which trains in godliness than to lose him and be in hell forever. I would rather do His way and be with him for eternity (even though painful for a bit) than to be his enemy and loose my soul eternally. 

Thank you Jesus for offering me life eternal. Thank you for offering to renew my mind in your eternal perspective. Please help me desire this. Please help me cry out to you for your guidance instead of thinking I know what the right thing should be. Even Peter was called Satan when he was trying to thwart you going to the cross. It was an evil he did not think you should endure and yet you came for just that reason. We do not understand. But we do have a choice to choose. Help me Father choose Trust In You!! Amen}

Lectio Divina: read, reflect, respond, rejoice!

My Lectio Divina: James 3:8-10

But no one among mankind can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brothers and sisters, these things should not be this way.

{I cannot tame my tongue. It is beyond my natural human capacity. I must ask God for divine assistance. It is full of evil! I bless my God but curse man who is made in God’s image and likeness. I am never to curse man. I am to bless him. Even if I am to bless the Lord to convict him to save his soul! But never curse. Man was made to be the dwelling place of God. If he does not think so, by my cursing, I am putting a stumbling block in place. I am to be a servant of God by telling the news of reconciliation. Cursing man is not the way to do that. Pray for the grace to give respect to all men in hopes of their conversion. 

Thank you Jesus for your gentleness and kindness that brought me to repentance. If you had been harsh or cursing me I would never have come. I’m sorry for my sin, forgive me for my behavior toward others. Help me be a reconciler to you! You are our only hope!! Amen}

Lectio Divina: read, reflect, respond, rejoice!

My Lectio Divina: James 3:17-18

But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peace-loving, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial, free of hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

{You give wisdom from above. But I must be listening for your voice or I cannot hear. It is usually opposed to worldly wisdom and even upside down. Your wisdom is pure. Your wisdom is peace loving. I think meaning you are trying to reconcile all men to you and each other. I see that I have a long way to go. I seem to be on the lookout for people getting over on me. I must look to be a peace bridge instead of my cynical self. Your wisdom is gentle, getting more flies with honey than vinegar and yet I am ready to do battle instead of humility. Your wisdom is reasonable and full of mercy. You know we are weak and broken. You want healing not condemnation. And yet I see I am ready to be hard and condemning instead of trying to reconcile. Impartial means non judgmental, of which I am far from! It seems I am full of hypocrisy! I disgust myself. I am so far removed from your amazing love and mercy that I need to be remade. 

Thank you Jesus for your offer!! You offer new life! You offer the gift of the Spirit of Wisdom and Power! You know I needed a Father and a Savior! Please heal my brokenness. Please have mercy on me. Help me learn to be merciful to others. Help me serve you by reconciling others to you and each other! Forgive my sin!! May your fruit of righteousness be in me so I can bring peace! By the Blood of Christ I plead for deliverance! All Glory to you My God! Amen}

The House of the Soul

Jesus promises that those who live His word will be like the wise man who built his house upon rock. When trials and temptations come, as they surely will, the house stands firm because it rests on Him.

St. Bernard of Clairvaux beautifully describes the house of the soul, 

The spiritual house of the soul is built by virtue, 

as a material house is built by labor and stones. 

Its length is long-suffering; 

its width is love; 

its height is hope. 

The four walls are prudence, justice, fortitude, and temperance. 

The pavement is humility; 

the roof is patience. 

The windows are the desire to become a saint, through which the light of the Gospel enters. 

The door is obedience to the commandments; 

the doorkeeper is holy fear; 

the watchmen are the angels. 

The mind is the intellect, 

Heart is the will; 

the body are good works; 

the faith is obedient to a mind formed by truth. 

The table is Sacred Scripture; 

the bread is the Eucharist; 

the wine is the Blood of Christ; 

the living water is the Holy Spirit; 

the oil is mercy; 

the bed is a quiet and peaceful mind; 

the sacraments are medicine; 

the priests are the doctors; 

the guests are the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

James 1:12

Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.

My job is to TRUST: Totally Rely Upon the Savior Today. God is the only Savior! Testing of your faith produces endurance! Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial. Peace!

James 2:13

For judgment will be merciless to one who has shown no mercy; mercy triumphs over judgment.

I too am a sinner-have mercy to get mercy!

Faith Alone is unbiblical:

James 2:22, 24

You see that faith 

was working with his works, 

and as a result of the works, 

faith was perfected;

You see that a person is justified 

by works and not by faith alone.

Lectio Divina: read, reflect, respond, rejoice!

My Lectio Divina: Luke 1:16-17

And he will turn many of the sons of Israel back to the Lord their God. And it is he who will go as a forerunner before Him in the spirit and power of Elijah, TO TURN THE HEARTS OF FATHERS BACK TO THEIR CHILDREN, and the disobedient to the attitude of the righteous, to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.

Turn the rebel sons of Israel back to the Lord their God

{Rebel sons of God back to Him, repentance from not staying in love with their only happiness and worship only him. 

Thank you for giving me a chance to come to you and back to you since I fall. Help me remember only you are my true happiness. That love and worship of you my perfect God brings joy and peace to my heart not the worldly things.}

Forerunner in the Spirit and power of Elijah

{Coming before Jesus to make the people’s hearts softened to hear the message with Spirit and Power of the great prophet about following and worshiping the Righteous God. 

Thank you for sending many people as forerunners to me. It took me many years to commit. You relentlessly pursued me. Thank you for not letting up! It was your power and message.}

Turn the hearts of fathers back to their children

{Turn the hearts of fathers to their children in remembering that they need to worship God and teach their children the same truth!

Thank you for turning my heart to you my God even without my family! But they did when I was a child so I did have a foundation.}

Turn the disobedient to righteous 

{The message of God’s love will turn the disobedient to worship and love the true God and make them want to be righteous. 

Now that I have heard of you and learned who you are I want to be with you and like you. Help me to stop being disobedient and become righteous. Thank you for being willing to make me righteous as I walk out this salvation.}

To make ready a new people 

{By turning from old ways of rebellion to worship and love and righteousness will make a new people, People prepared for our Holy God who now wants to live inside us not just among us. 

Thank you for making me a new person. With your love and power I can now be prepared for you to live inside me. Please change me my awesome God!}

People prepared for the Lord

These people will now be prepared for Jesus’ message of new life in Him and the Holy Spirit dwelling internally by repentance and baptism. 

Thank you Jesus for my baptism. Thank you for making me a new creation now prepared to be indwelt. Thank you for righteousness. Thank you for the power to obey. Thank you for filling me with your love. Help me keep a repentant heart and worship, love, and follow you all the days of my life! Your will be done! Amen}