What Forgiveness Is and What It Is Not
If you’re like me, it’s hard to forgive even knowing this is true. It helps to keep a few things in mind:
- Forgiveness is not an emotion, it’s an act of the will; an act of love. You don’t have to feel forgiving to forgive.
- Forgiving does not mean forgetting. That’s denial.
- Forgiving doesn’t mean excusing the wrong or saying it doesn’t matter. Things that don’t matter don’t need to be forgiven. Forgiveness says, “I know what you did. It hurt. But I won’t hold it against you.”
- Forgiveness is letting go of your “right” to be right. It means offering up your anger, letting go of your desire for revenge—and leaving justice to God.
- Finally, don’t confuse forgiveness with reconciliation. Reconciliation requires repentance—but forgiveness does not. From the cross, Jesus forgave people who had not repented and maybe never would. We must do the same.
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