Day 4
Full Freedom
The commitment to imitating Christ is the triumph of God’s love that takes hold of a man and demands of him every possible effort in the service of this love, while at the same time he stays fully aware of human weakness.
— St. John Paul II, Homily, October 29, 1995
Different personalities tend to react to this truth about our partnership with God in different ways. If carried to the extreme, these reactions can lead to a lack of interior balance, inhibiting the “glorious freedom of the children of God” (Romans 8:21) that we are called to begin experiencing even as we travel along our pilgrimage in this fallen world. Each of us needs to develop an awareness of how these tendencies show up in our own case, so as to gradually develop a healthy sense of balance while our interior freedom matures.
The Achiever’s Trap
High achievers and perfectionists will tend to overemphasize the 1 percent that is our part. They can interpret the parable of the sower and the seed, and other parables of the kingdom, as threats. They tend to think that if they are not doing their absolute best at every moment, God won’t be pleased and won’t be able to send his grace. They feel that God is watching closely over them, but more analytically than lovingly. They can fall into subconsciously perceiving God as if he were a judge in a gymnastics competition, paying special attention and taking a perverse delight in all the flaws, all the shortcomings, of their Christian performance. They forget what God himself has told us about his unconditional love, a love that doesn’t have to be earned: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have continued my faithfulness to you” (Jeremiah 31:3).
If this tendency is given free rein, the spiritual life can gradually become twisted and oppressive. The sweet and jubilant fascination that accompanied the soul’s first personal encounters with the Lord gets worn down by fear, tension, and pressure, which are for the most part self-imposed. The deep, rich satisfaction that came from discovering the ultimate meaning of life (living in communion with God) and redirecting one’s actions and desires toward that meaning, fades and almost disappears. The Christian quest for holiness comes to be felt as a stifling shackle and an exhaustive, unfair burden.
Unpleasant Repercussions
This path of overemphasizing our own efforts can have various eventual outcomes; the self-imposed pressure cooker can explode in a variety of directions. It can leave the soul brittle, harsh, and dry. This creates Christians who are pious but not holy, who are cold and judgmental and holier-than-thou. On the other hand, it can lead a person to rebel against God, to come to the conclusion that Christianity is nothing more than a spiritual and emotional prison constructed out of controlling lists of sadistic, inhuman obligations. The constant disappointment of not living up to unrealistic, self-imposed standards of performance can also lead to seemingly perennial discouragement, and even depression, paralyzing the soul or sparking addictions.
The Antidote
The tendency to overemphasize our own efforts needs to be balanced out by frequent contemplation of God’s goodness, of his undying commitment to always be there with his 99 percent, and of his delight in our slightest efforts to put forth our 1 percent.
The achiever or perfectionist needs to think frequently and intentionally about all God has done through the ages, and all he continues to do, to further his loving plan of salvation. These individuals need to think frequently and intentionally of all God has done and continues to do to further their own individual stories of salvation. Like St. Paul, they need to renew their confidence in God, the senior partner of our Christian quest:
I am confident of this, that the one who began a good work in you will continue to complete it until the day of Christ Jesus. . . . For God is the one who, for his good purpose, works in you both to desire and to work. (Philippians 1:6; 2:13)
The Lull of Mediocrity
For more social and spontaneous types, the tendency tilts to the other extreme: underemphasizing our role in spiritual growth. Casual and easy-going folks can fall into being lazy Christians, satisfied with comfortable mediocrity, because “God will take care of it.”
Comfortable Christians habitually let their good, God-inspired resolutions languish and die. They may avoid the big dramatic sins, but they also avoid the taxing demands of mature love. They hear the Lord’s call, and they feel the attraction of spiritual maturity (and sincerely desire it), but, like the rich young man in the Gospel who “went away sad” (Mark 10:22) after rejecting the Lord’s invitation to leave behind his comfort zone, they have difficulty mustering up enough spiritual energy to keep on giving of themselves to God and neighbor until it hurts. They may not even allow themselves to consciously realize that they are resisting the nudge of grace.
Signs of Stagnation
Sometimes this tendency is hard to diagnose because comfortable Christians are often jovial and quite engaged in good, holy activities that they enjoy. But they are not growing in their spiritual lives, because they are continually refusing, directly or indirectly, God’s invitations to go deeper. They usually have good excuses, but their repeated refusals gradually create a kind of gray spiritual undertone in their lives, a hazy sense of inadequacy and dissatisfaction, a vague sadness lurking in the corners of their consciousness. This can even deepen into hidden but spiritually destructive self-loathing if the tendency fails to be identified and faced.
This underemphasizing of our part is hard to live with. So, comfortable Christians frequently develop attachments to superficial pastimes that serve as distractions and temporary escape routes. God is continually calling out to them, because he never gives up on any of us. But they are afraid of answering the call and stepping out of their comfort zone, so they find ways to drown out that still, small voice.
Cultivating Courage
Comfortable Christians need to develop courage and perseverance. They need to allow the Holy Spirit to remind them of what’s at stake in the spiritual battle. St. Paul is a sure guide in these reflections:
Working together, then, we appeal to you not to receive the grace of God in vain. . . . Work out your salvation with fear and trembling. . . . Let us not grow tired of doing good, for in due time we shall reap our harvest, if we do not give up. (2 Corinthians 6:1; Philippians 2:12; Gal. 6:9)
Here again, contemplating God’s goodness can provide powerful fuel for growth: The more convinced we are of God’s wisdom and love toward us, the better chance we will have of trusting him when he invites us to step into uncomfortable territory. And even if we just keep taking very little steps, he will work wonders: “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you” (James 4:8).
Questions for Personal Reflection or Group Discussion
What idea in this reflection struck you most and why?
Which of the two tendencies discussed in this chapter is stronger in you? How can you tell?
How deeply do you consider and reflect on God’s goodness and love toward you? In other words, who is God for you, and how deeply have you experienced his personal, unconditional love? Are there perhaps some interior blocks that make it hard for you to accept and feel God’s personal love for you?
Whether you tend to fall into the Achiever’s Trap or the Lull of Mediocrity, growing in intimacy with God requires counteracting those tendencies by forming habits of thought and behavior that correspond more harmoniously with the full truth of who you are in Christ. Forming new habits takes time (most experts say about forty days) and consistent, intentional effort.
What new habit will you begin to form today to help you grow in the full freedom of the children of God?
- Today, and every day for the next month, I will consciously choose to step out of my comfort zone at least one time, when my conscience nudges me to — whether by doing an inconvenient (to me) favor for someone, speaking the truth when it’s risky, or reaching out to someone who ought to be reaching out to me.
- Today I will begin a Journal of Glory, where every day I will write down at least one good thing that God did for me during the day in order to cultivate a deeper awareness of his goodness — whether allowing me to marvel at a beautiful sunset, to experience a small success, or simply to enjoy a pleasing coincidence.
- (Write your own resolution) I will
Concluding Prayer
Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding and my entire will,
All I have and call my own.
You have given all to me.
To you, Lord, I return it.
Everything is yours; do with it what you will.
Give me only your love and your grace.
That is enough for me.
— A prayer from St. Ignatius of Loyola
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