My Core problem:

I can’t trust God if he is always threatening to leave me because of sin since I am a sinner everyday until I get to heaven….(even venial seems mortal to someone closer to God-eating a fruit killed the race)

The way to be saved is to give yourself completely to Him to live by His Grace. My only cooperation is a YES, He does it all. (He has a plan, he has the power, I only bring the yes). He bought me with His Blood. He is now my God, Lord, and Master.

Believe Jesus paid all my sin debt, He merits all things for me if I let myself be His. God made Jesus my justification, my wisdom, my righteousness, my sanctification, and my redemption. I have faith in Him and His Grace and Merits, I have Hope in Him, His Grace, and His salvation. I have Love from God, for God, and for others in honor of God. 

How I could trust:

God loves me no matter what I do or did (does not accept or tolerate-wants to put right - healing)

God showed me I am a sinner needing grace to get home to him (I will always have sin until home-this does not disqualify-this is reason I need him)

God gives me power to kill sin and live in grace (he lives inside me)

God forgives and strengthens to not sin (I can only see this when I am confronting and confessing myself)

God will discipline (even severely!) until I turn to him again if I go astray but never leave (he is faithful-will never leave-he is jealous for his own spirit-I may not know he’s there because of sin-soul saved through fire, works burned to nothing if done apart from God) He is faithful! WILL NOT LET ME GO!

If I knew God would never leave me now that he saved me and promised to get me home-I am one with him. (He does not fail-Faithful). 

I can’t trust God If he is not promising to get me all the way home. I do not have the wisdom, power, or desire without Grace! It is not in me. The whole point is to trust in Him and His Grace and Merit and Love that is strong enough to overwhelm me when I am going astray. 

If any sin, even mortal sin separates me, then he was not strong enough to keep me by discipline and His Power. This is unacceptable. Either He is God or the devil or I am stronger?? NO HE IS GOD. I put all my hope in Him!